Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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