never play flip cup with pint glasses
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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