My first STD was from a foam party
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
