if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You can't just leave with hair like that
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
