apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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