I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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