i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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