she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
as a side note pls kill me
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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