i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize