he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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