didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
