oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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