I think i peed on brittanys purse
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Can I color on your dick again?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Randomize
