...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
