I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
