oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
