I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
