I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
im on a boat
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