I bet he comes in French.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
