Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
