Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize