Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You are a genius and a whore.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
