Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
