why didn't you poke me back
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
