problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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