please come you make the beer taste better
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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