How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
only you would photoshop your dick
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
