at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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