I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize