roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
