Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just want nice things and good sex
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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