i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
