Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
