I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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