is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
