Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
