office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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