I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize