Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
