I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
