Tell her she can't have a vagina
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
