Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Can I color on your dick again?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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