she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
