Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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