I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
