Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
