everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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