i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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