I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
