Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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