Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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