So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
