haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
this hospital has no fireball
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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