During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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