I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
