We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
