even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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