im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
