and you said cock pushups were impossible
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
