Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
