If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
