$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
