Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
