I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize