Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So vagazzling was a success
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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