whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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