I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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