So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
