You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
