Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
