Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It was like getting head from an anaconda
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
