You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
