Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
