google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
