i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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