wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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