my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
