i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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